urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw tony_caw tony_caw 2006-02-27T13:59:21Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:5336 2006-02-27T13:59:21Z 2006-02-27T13:59:21Z im burned out ..... pak shet man, even though i know i got to work, my brain just wont go .... kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me ... anyway, had lots of icecream today. went to a mini raly in UP for our project... went around to find a copy of Amelie to no avail .... thanks pala to jonty who let me borow his... burning burning .... CD for dixie jill ... :) so bored ... i need either the summer or start working ... anyway, eurostar is going away ... how sad... we didnt even get to go agen... I love you ************** (dont bother with the # of leters, shes a secret :) ) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:4945 2006-02-16T13:46:06Z 2006-02-16T13:46:06Z Ah, so tird..... anyway, back to academics. The Prod is almost over, just clean up nalang. Booji n nana, ill kill you, you know why. ... wat else can i write?..... so much else to write (papers) .... sory don and richi chan .... wa pa paper ko.... crap crap crap .... anyway. Met my dads director friend and hes willing to get me as an aprentice when he gets a project... shet... lapit na real work for a living ... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:4668 2006-01-15T12:39:11Z 2006-01-15T12:39:11Z So much to do and think about. Have to regroup.... have to ... im just writing this waiting for my groupmates for our online meeting ... need GE lights ....need ... Watch the next TA play! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:4529 2006-01-08T10:48:48Z 2006-01-08T10:48:48Z yesterday ........ is wrong ... yn lang yn .... :) but anyway, i ges i have my paper and im still alive .... yey! ... bord lng :) im sory :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:4325 2006-01-05T14:38:47Z 2006-01-05T14:38:47Z Ah... e2 nanaman po ako :) wel, its been a fun break, sobra, gone to subic with two people i like (one in a special way :) ) and in my return to school, good news bad news. Bad news is trency (our lights head) got injured and had to step down. Good news ... well not rili so good news, is that I am the new lights head... I have now idea how to do this job... i joined lights to learn and now im head... if i knew what to do, id be happy to get a chance to prove myself but this is questionable, im realy scared to screw up on this ... buti nalang nandyan c bekbek, the deputy (but more of the actual) lights head without her, di magagawa ang first "baby steps" ng lights where we had just one day to set up lights for the stage. Thankyou to all who helped, especialy JC and Herwin (im sorry if I forgot some people). Well... now i ju..... Jesus Christ... there is a roach the size of a dog in here..... anyway, i now have to balance everything from my studies family and friends ..... Everything is OK naman, nothings out of reach, just have to reach a lot... I actualy got to writing becasue namention LJ kanina :) hi yall uli!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:4023 2005-06-13T03:29:27Z 2005-06-13T03:29:27Z Finaly :) i have my home internet back ... just in time too... i screwed up on reg day and forgot to jot down the rooms of my clases... and so i was saved by the regcom site :) go regcom!! :) <br /><br />Tom is a new school year and new people and new things to do... new screwups and shit ... i almost cant wait to get back on doing things .... <br /><br />Just a tot, its always hard to change for a world that wont change for you. &lt; of cors related yun sakin .... ... .... ... .. ewan ko rin urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:3748 2005-06-07T11:07:51Z 2005-06-07T11:07:51Z ahh... the new school year :) we love all and all love us.... im wasted.. i acidentaly got a Fil philo class and now i got to load rev... else i am dead... Question... if your parents were helped by someone ... and the favor asked in return is paid by you ... is that fair?? i mean you never asked for that and damn hell never made an agreement... what to do... crap .. anyway.. im still confused as ever as to what to do in my life. im geting paramoid na.... i was in my old HS kanina and i was thinking to myself if these guys knew about me..... :) help... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:3547 2005-04-04T06:04:19Z 2005-04-04T06:04:19Z ah, im a bit tired today... shit, i forgot what i was supposed to write....<br /><br />Anyway, ...... why am i like this ... when im out, I want to write about stuf.. when im here, i want to go out. pka shit man :) ... oh yeah, now I have a hold order on my reg form cuz of ID violation (NA I NEVER HAD) ... now i gota go to 2 ADSA pa... pak shit man. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:3197 2005-04-02T06:19:11Z 2005-04-02T06:19:11Z wala lang na araw.... just have a gut feel na i should write something ... so i did :) Im hapy agen :) FU world :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:2880 2005-03-31T12:23:22Z 2005-03-31T12:30:01Z Seryoso to ah... <br /><br />After some intence reflection... i came up with the conclution: My life is a mess and i dont know what the hell im doing with it<br /><br />During the past few days, especialy the past two, i realized how many stupid things i do ( I think all of you can give an example of that). I know what I should have done but I just choke evry time i need to make the right choice. I cant write down what i realy feel cuz i dont even know what I feel. Its a mix of sadness for myself and for what i have done to others (im realy sory to all of you and i hope you can forgive me, but you dont have to and i understand) , regret for the things ive done and said. I also want to change but i dont know how. Ive tried so many times before but im like a drug dependant and i just cant hold my tendencys (you know what im about). Id want to tell myself that no one cares (most probably most dont) but i realy am sory. I hope the people who reads this understands. I never meant to crap up anyones day but i got so much shit on me that it just spills all over everything around me. I got issues (duh). I cant put them to words to explain why im like this. Im not using this as an excuse. What I did was my fault and i know i desserve any ill will towards me. if anyone out there has anything to tell me, please do so and please let me do anything to atone. I know that some things I did is irreversable and i cant do shit now to fix it, so feel free to tell me what you want and we can talk it over if possible. Or you can just tell me what you want (end of story). Sory talaga and i will give a realy strong push to turn this kid into someone OK... <br /><br />I want to thank my friends out there who tried to help me. Thanks for the tuf love, sory i dont respond well to it. To my friends who were loyal. To the friends i lost. <br /><br />Im Anthony Austin Ruiz Caw, nice to meet you (paarte lang :) ) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:2656 2005-03-26T11:56:09Z 2005-03-26T11:56:09Z ah, yes, home sweet home. I actualy hate vacations where I live in someone elses place.. im so thingking of what im doing in their place<br /><br /><event><br /><br />anyway .... while i was typing this, something happened, jill gave me a PM and now im going to cavite for our formsem .... id write about it but i got stuff to do na so i leave this to remind me that i should write about it.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:2478 2005-03-23T14:34:55Z 2005-03-23T14:34:55Z life .... oh life.... what is its meaning?<br /><br />the dictionary, the oposite of the bible. Where one asks Questions and one answers. One questions the meaning of life and the other defines. while....... yeah watever urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:2171 2005-03-23T14:08:16Z 2005-03-23T14:08:16Z To all those who put words in my mouth &gt; FUCK YOU!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:1801 2005-03-23T13:11:23Z 2005-03-23T13:11:23Z Im happy :) ewan Y, but im hapy :) I will begin work and gym .... gym at least 4 sure... :) I Will be buff :) yess :) sexy :) wooooooooo sexy :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:1596 2005-03-19T03:59:42Z 2005-03-19T03:59:42Z Wasup :) im finaly getting into the summer mood, its a sat now, Im supposed to got 2 pyromania mya but im under debate with my parents pa .... (sory Yas) :) the old gang invited me 2 another thing at the same time pyro is going down... I wish I could go to both :). I sure miss being a jack ass at times. Im now looking for my sumer job, I hope I find it at lest in time to make some decent cash. I also hope to get in R&J (frat chance but just maybe) :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:1313 2005-03-15T12:16:50Z 2005-03-15T12:16:19Z My story, I dont think anyone actualy reads my journal so i guess i can use this as my ........... journal :) I hate last sat. I mean Hate it! The thursday before that, something realy cool happend, i met someone. As in i finaly got to know someone (nagbond kami for the first time). Now this person wasnt much to me through most of the semester but she grew on me quick last week. Problem was, our last class together was last Sat. Shes a graduate by the time anyone reads this. And im just realy bumbed out that I met this person just before we part. Its like hearing your dad say "I love you son" just before he kicks the bucket (which might happen with my dad). So I was thingking what could have been. Im not assuming that it would be perfect or she would answer all my life problems, but it would have been nice if she were at least my friend. I sort of need some new blood in my friends pool. ( i miss my best friend ) Im not saying my friends here are nothing. I love them to death, but theres just some things that only those special people CAN go down the road with you. And only those rili special ones WOULD go down with you. I miss so many people. Not many around me I can cry on. I hope she keeps wearing the shirt I gave her last Xmas. I wouldnt mind being next to her even with the "im with stupid =====&gt;" print on. I wish Santa would give me a gift. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:1091 2005-03-09T03:09:54Z 2005-03-09T03:09:54Z 2 weeks nalang.... damn :) I want this thing to be over na... i wish i dont have any Fs... sana nandito cya, but we still communicate... sometimes .... pak sht man :) so today im still cramming yet another Fil paper.... due Friday (its wed now) Y cram i say? cuz it taks 2 weeks for me to get a paper off ... I cant do this to save my life. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:786 2005-03-06T06:38:56Z 2005-03-06T06:38:56Z I now realize na i cant say anything bout my love life (or lack thereof) (Guess).... anybody can just read this and tell the world, (that's my job). So now im here doing papers and prijects and whatnot. Its sunday and some specialty stores i need are closed.... and I need the stuff by tom... damn, hope my group understands :) if your reading this, Tamad narin akong hanapin mga tao dito as friends, so if anyone reads this, pakikalat nalng po that tony is here urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:641 2005-03-04T06:35:05Z 2005-03-04T06:35:05Z life is a lot harder when your fighting two fronts at once. We got academics and relationships. Those two are probably the pincers of general life's tactics. (whatever:)) Its so hard to go on cuz once your done with one, the other will get you and vice versa..... I need someone to help me out. Everyone around me is facing the same problem and a cancer patient cant ask help from another patient... doctor doctor I am sic..... kill me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tony_caw:267 2005-03-04T05:37:38Z 2005-03-04T05:37:38Z i cant go on..... i cant finish this by 5 pm......<br />im lonely ..... help <br />(sory ikli, im new to this :)